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December 14: Thoughts on aromanticism and/or asexuality either on a personal level or how it's treated in media? (for jen) [Tumblr crosspost]
To be honest, I don't especially care about how asexuality is treated in media. I mean, I hear it's often made into sort of a joke? Or that people act asexual but then, gasp, True Love overcomes that and they discover the joy of sex? The first is only annoying as long as there aren't also non-mocking portrayals of asexuality out there -- I mean, humans being humans, we mock everyone for everything, and if every other sexuality is fair game... hey. Equal opportunity mocking! The second is only annoying, again, if there are no countervailing portrayals, because that does sometimes happen. People are weird and complicated and sexuality is full of "I am 98% this way, but somehow the 2% that doesn't fit that category ended up being the relevant part, because of reasons" scenarios.
So basically the solution is to have more visible asexuality. Actually, I think this is the solution to most representation issues. Have more people of every type on-page or on-screen so people can be people rather than serving as symbols and mouthpieces for their various categories.
As for my asexuality and aromanticism in real life, again, it's not something I pay lots of attention to. I was very pleased to discover that there was a word and category that made more sense to me than any other sexual orientation category, but I'm not into activism or identity-based groups, so that's largely irrelevant to my everyday life. I'd say my asexuality is most evident as mild annoyance at sex scenes in long, plotty stories, or as difficulty finding the motivation to write a sex scene in one of my own stories, or as wondering if someone was trying to flirt with me, because how does anyone ever recognize flirting anyway? It's like there's a radio station I am not tuned in to receive and I always feel awkward about maybe accidentally giving people the impression I might be interested in anything other than casual acquaintanceship.
I mean, the obvious consequence is that I am not in a romantic or sexual relationship and have no interest in looking for one. But I think that is at least as much attributable to my general introversion and asociality as anything specifically to do with sex and/or romantic love. I just kind of... don't do people, very much? How much of that is down to asexuality would be hard to determine.
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December Talking Meme: All Days
To be honest, I don't especially care about how asexuality is treated in media. I mean, I hear it's often made into sort of a joke? Or that people act asexual but then, gasp, True Love overcomes that and they discover the joy of sex? The first is only annoying as long as there aren't also non-mocking portrayals of asexuality out there -- I mean, humans being humans, we mock everyone for everything, and if every other sexuality is fair game... hey. Equal opportunity mocking! The second is only annoying, again, if there are no countervailing portrayals, because that does sometimes happen. People are weird and complicated and sexuality is full of "I am 98% this way, but somehow the 2% that doesn't fit that category ended up being the relevant part, because of reasons" scenarios.
So basically the solution is to have more visible asexuality. Actually, I think this is the solution to most representation issues. Have more people of every type on-page or on-screen so people can be people rather than serving as symbols and mouthpieces for their various categories.
As for my asexuality and aromanticism in real life, again, it's not something I pay lots of attention to. I was very pleased to discover that there was a word and category that made more sense to me than any other sexual orientation category, but I'm not into activism or identity-based groups, so that's largely irrelevant to my everyday life. I'd say my asexuality is most evident as mild annoyance at sex scenes in long, plotty stories, or as difficulty finding the motivation to write a sex scene in one of my own stories, or as wondering if someone was trying to flirt with me, because how does anyone ever recognize flirting anyway? It's like there's a radio station I am not tuned in to receive and I always feel awkward about maybe accidentally giving people the impression I might be interested in anything other than casual acquaintanceship.
I mean, the obvious consequence is that I am not in a romantic or sexual relationship and have no interest in looking for one. But I think that is at least as much attributable to my general introversion and asociality as anything specifically to do with sex and/or romantic love. I just kind of... don't do people, very much? How much of that is down to asexuality would be hard to determine.
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December Talking Meme: All Days
