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1. Personally, I didn't really think you were infodumping; it came off more as internal rambling on Naga's part. If you really must cut it, though, it seemed to me that everything after 'and what Kakashi didn't know wouldn't embarrass her' was, although interesting, largely unnecessary.

2. I'm not sure what you mean by 'pacing', but Eiji's sections don't seem particularly jarring or out of place to me. I get a definite sense that that the scenes involving him belong in the story.

3. Sasuke seems pretty much the same as he is in the manga to me: focused, disdainful toward Naruto in spite of the tiny spark of reluctantly growing respect for him, and very screwed up in the head.

One of my favorite aspects of this chapter is the way that Naruto is using his head more than he does at the start of the manga. It's a nice reminder that Yukiko has been having a definite effect upon him.

I like this chapter. I'm getting a definite sense of tension in every section, and an impression that everything up to this point has just been setting the stage for the real drama.

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Elizabeth Culmer

July 2025

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